Hi! How is everything going for you?
I hope fine.
I am writing for some encouragement,
if I may be so bold. I am growing "weary in the battle" so to speak.
It's been 7 years my husband has been away, and quite honestly I had hoped by now I would have the family a little better stabilized, provided for, taken care of. If you talk to any single parent they will tell you it is hard to juggle both jobs of children and work.
For the most part I was always a stay at home mom. When I did work outside the home, my oldest daughter stepped in and took care of the children while I was at work. She got married 10 years ago, so its been very different, not to mention the wait we have been treated around here (or should I say the way I am treated) wears on your soul. When my husband was in the holy war against baby murderers most folks around here shunned me. Except the Amish. He was and is a hero to them (and to me) that was how the door opened for my job of the last 7 years, amish driving. I've always had older vehicles so repair jobs have been constant, but it has been a good job, one I have enjoyed. That came to an end a month ago. The drivers in this area are being harassed and cited for no taxi license which I cant afford, much less extra insurance. Basically I am out of a job. I have applied for others, so far no door opens. I am not sure just where I belong anymore. 6 years ago Easter morning we were told to leave church during worship. We were no longer welcome there. One of my daughters married a pastor a couple of years ago and we have since driven 100 miles every Sunday to go to church. They always gave us the gas money. Now they are leaving the state to go full time military chaplain. Once again I am not sure what to do. I have worked as hard as I can yet it never seems enough. Even 7 years later there is still harassment to us. Over all these years our pets have been bothered, even killed 2 of our dogs, 4 cats, and our milking goats throat was slit one Sunday while we were in church. There has been vandalism to our home, vehicles, and possessions. Things I mailed never got there, things mailed to me did not get here.
Sometimes its a struggle to
hold on. Currently I am behind in house payment and taxes, I've managed
to keep utilities on, baby-sitting and house cleaning.
It is before the Lord as
to the direction we need to take, being where God wants us to be is what
matters to me.
For those who wondered why
I did not pursue congress plain and simple God shut the door. The
support was not there and while I know God has a plan for us, I don't know
what it is.
I know it is tiring to have
folks who seem to need help all the time and I am sorry to bother anyone.
I am quickly getting to the point I would prefer to be a hermit.
The lies that are told about me make me sick. For anyone who wonders,
my love for my husband remains and continue to do so. He always was,
still is and forever will be my knight in shining armor. I am proud
of him and I love him.
A few years back an offer was made to me (by his own brother) if I would get a divorce, our home would be paid for. Financial security, if I would simply forsake the man God gave me. An easier life if I would just walk away, find someone else to hold me while I sleep and take care of my children. Needless to say I walked away from the offer. I will be no less than I am, I will do no less than what God has for me. I'd be a fool to walk away from the love of my life.
To anyone who reads this I
offer these words, whatever God has called you to don't give up, hang in
there. He is faithful, his ways are not ours but he hasn't
forsaken us.
To any brothers and sisters
who have time please pray for us. I need to hear clearly, I need
his wisdom and direction. Anyone who wants to help hold " my arms
up" in this battle, please do. I need your encouragement, your help.
I pray Gods blessing on you all, and thank you for taking the time to read
this, I appreciate you all.
P.S. My address for anyone who would
like to write.
PO Box 30 Clintonville PA 16372
Your sister in the battle,
Mary Waagner
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Telephone 1-757-204-4454
Or write to: Rev. Donald Spitz
Pro-Life Virginia
P.O. Box 2876
Chesapeake VA 23327
